Skip to main content

Mr. Mom

For quite some time Dan and I have been discussing how we'd like to order our family, especially regarding kids.  (To aspiring grandmothers out there, no, I am not pregnant nor will I be in the forseeable future.  My mom can tell you that I always plan 10 years in advance for things, so this is not unusual behavior for me.)

We've definitely decided that one of us needs to be home with the kids.  With the country life that we'd like to have, between childcare, house-work, farm-work, and even possible homeschooling in the future, it just doesn't make sense to hire someone else to do that for us.  We'd basically spend one of our incomes on all those things if it were hired and no one will pay more attention to detail and care of our home and household than one of us.

However, we've not been very decided on whom shall be the primary bread winner.  Personally, I doubt that I'll be able to 100% leave the medical world and be stay at home mom.  Dan also enjoys working.  However, after further discussion, what's probably going to be most viable is to have him at home with the kids, and work from the house--a home-based cabinetry and furniture making business is an aspiration of his.  Additionally, he will certainly be kept busy for quite some time with building our own home, cabinetry, and furniture.

That being said, we were particularly troubled by a soliloquy by Mark Driscoll in a marriage video series on the Song of Solomon that we had been watching a while ago (Taken as a whole, I found it to be a thought-provoking and new perspective, but as with everything watch with discernment).  In it, Pastor Driscoll basically states that Titus 2 is very clear in that holding up the Biblicalness of a patriarchial home structure in which dad "brings home the bacon" and mom is in charge of the nurturing and care of the kids.  He goes so far as to say that anything different, except for extenuating circumstances is a sin.

With my own parents swapping who was home and who worked and our own plans to make our life fit our dreams and goals while still caring for our children, we had seen different examples and had set different goals.  We were troubled, didn't agree, but felt largely unable to say exactly why.  I had thought of a more agrarian day where dad worked at home on the farm as a possible explanation, but still my reply was a bit half-baked.

Many thanks to my friend, Theresa, who linked this article--a commentary by an Asbury professor.  An excellent and historical reply to the said question.   And in fact, paints the modern-day equivalent as a dad who spends his day at the pub or golf course shooting the breeze and hob-nobbing with the guys as the most prevalent or "Biblically referred to" in the text.   That being, said, the article takes no position on the most Biblical family structure, but instead reminds us that our behavior is to be a witness to the world and an example of a better way to do things--whether you have a Mr. or a Mrs. Mom.


  1. Thanks for posting this, Paige. I know what it's like to struggle with an issue where a lot of people say there is only one "biblical" way. A year or two ago, when I was struggling with such an issue, I read something that reminded me that there is FREEDOM in Christ and if I can remember that, so many burdens are lifted off of me. Aimee

  2. Love this! I agree with you, nothing wrong with the "mr. mom" scenario. If anyone can do it well, you and Dan can!! Daniel and i have been talking about him staying home this winter and me getting a job in town, just to give him a break for a few months before production season starts next year. I don't know if we'll do it or not, but it would work out just fine, i believe.

    I miss you, and am still sad we're not in KY too...

    You guys rock- I can't wait to see what the next few years have in store for you! <3


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Looking back and Looking On: 2016 reflections and 2017 dreams

The blog has been quiet these days, but we've been busy behind the scenes.  At times, it feels like I get nothing done but keeping the kids alive and us semi-fed with healthy food, but we have been steadily plodding forward.  Here's where we've been. The Year of Simplify: 2016This past year really had me getting serious about taking stock of my life-how I spent my time, what was important to me, what I actually wanted to see and bring into my house.  I was getting pretty exhausted from working my 5th (yikes!) year on night-shift, raising two small children (with a third on the way!), and having "to-do" or "should-do" lists as long as my arm.  My home felt cluttered and overwhelmed as we were in-between two places for the past few years.  The extra space between two locations hadn't reaffirmed the "stuff purge" as I felt like I always had more space.  All in all, was juggling too much; I felt overcommitted--with work, with hobbies, with to-d…

Where have we been?!?!?!

Yes, blogging land, it has been a while.There's been a lot of transition for us in our little homestead, and nearly a year ago, we returned to the suburban life for the current time.Have we given up on our dreams of wide open spaces and green acres?  Certainly not.Is homesteading still something we love or would love to do? Definitely.Here's the thing. Homesteading is what you make and how you define it.  If you expect me to be a purist, you are far from mistaken about me.  My life is far from purist.  Bits and pieces of life are combined into a recipe that is of my own making and best suited to my own life priorities and goals. Do things sometimes get a bit mis-mashed and messy?  Yes.  But it is always worth re-tweaking and making something unique, beautiful, delicious.It's all in your priorities and goals.
 For me, having a manageable sized garden and quantity of produce is high.  Along with short commutes. And less stress.  And possible early retirement.  And extra time …

Taming the Consumerism Beast: My Minimalist Christmas

As we enter the holiday season, I have consciously been trying to be more mindful of the choices that I'm making and the example I'm setting.  Unfortunately, the holiday season has become part and parcel with excess--excess food, excess buying, excess debt, excess stress.
I want to do better.
The past year or two, I've been gradually shifting towards simplification and minimizing my life.  My schedule has been too busy, my home too cluttered, and my life just too stressed. And if we're honest, the holidays are no exception. We are consumer-minded, we don't budget for generosity, and we are wildly selfish, but carefully disguise this as generosity to our already well-provided for families, friends, and children (global perspective, people). 
I want to teach my children better.  And the only way I can accomplish this is to lead by example.
I want my children to learn that Thanksgiving is a time for gratitude, not over-indulgence. 
I want my kids to remember that Chr…