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Mr. Mom

For quite some time Dan and I have been discussing how we'd like to order our family, especially regarding kids.  (To aspiring grandmothers out there, no, I am not pregnant nor will I be in the forseeable future.  My mom can tell you that I always plan 10 years in advance for things, so this is not unusual behavior for me.)

We've definitely decided that one of us needs to be home with the kids.  With the country life that we'd like to have, between childcare, house-work, farm-work, and even possible homeschooling in the future, it just doesn't make sense to hire someone else to do that for us.  We'd basically spend one of our incomes on all those things if it were hired and no one will pay more attention to detail and care of our home and household than one of us.

However, we've not been very decided on whom shall be the primary bread winner.  Personally, I doubt that I'll be able to 100% leave the medical world and be stay at home mom.  Dan also enjoys working.  However, after further discussion, what's probably going to be most viable is to have him at home with the kids, and work from the house--a home-based cabinetry and furniture making business is an aspiration of his.  Additionally, he will certainly be kept busy for quite some time with building our own home, cabinetry, and furniture.

That being said, we were particularly troubled by a soliloquy by Mark Driscoll in a marriage video series on the Song of Solomon that we had been watching a while ago (Taken as a whole, I found it to be a thought-provoking and new perspective, but as with everything watch with discernment).  In it, Pastor Driscoll basically states that Titus 2 is very clear in that holding up the Biblicalness of a patriarchial home structure in which dad "brings home the bacon" and mom is in charge of the nurturing and care of the kids.  He goes so far as to say that anything different, except for extenuating circumstances is a sin.

With my own parents swapping who was home and who worked and our own plans to make our life fit our dreams and goals while still caring for our children, we had seen different examples and had set different goals.  We were troubled, didn't agree, but felt largely unable to say exactly why.  I had thought of a more agrarian day where dad worked at home on the farm as a possible explanation, but still my reply was a bit half-baked.

Many thanks to my friend, Theresa, who linked this article--a commentary by an Asbury professor.  An excellent and historical reply to the said question.   And in fact, paints the modern-day equivalent as a dad who spends his day at the pub or golf course shooting the breeze and hob-nobbing with the guys as the most prevalent or "Biblically referred to" in the text.   That being, said, the article takes no position on the most Biblical family structure, but instead reminds us that our behavior is to be a witness to the world and an example of a better way to do things--whether you have a Mr. or a Mrs. Mom.

Comments

  1. Thanks for posting this, Paige. I know what it's like to struggle with an issue where a lot of people say there is only one "biblical" way. A year or two ago, when I was struggling with such an issue, I read something that reminded me that there is FREEDOM in Christ and if I can remember that, so many burdens are lifted off of me. Aimee

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  2. Love this! I agree with you, nothing wrong with the "mr. mom" scenario. If anyone can do it well, you and Dan can!! Daniel and i have been talking about him staying home this winter and me getting a job in town, just to give him a break for a few months before production season starts next year. I don't know if we'll do it or not, but it would work out just fine, i believe.

    I miss you, and am still sad we're not in KY too...

    You guys rock- I can't wait to see what the next few years have in store for you! <3

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