The past few weeks, or even months really, I've been feeling entirely frazzled, burned-out, tired, dry, and in desperate need of a break. Some of this I know is entirely situational--grad school is grueling, being away from home is a strain, and having to completely readjust to a new locale and "job" every 6 weeks is extremely stressful. That being said, however, I know that much of my frustration is linked to too much clutter in my life and too little of the things that are soul-feeding.
1. I need to get back into a better pattern of devos. As crazy and undergrad seemed, it was structured and it was easier to plan ahead and fit in God-time and fellowship. I've been dry and I know it. Unfortunately, those closest to me have been bearing the brunt of my internal angst, irritability, and frustration.
2. I need a sabbath. I am certainly the Martha of Lazarus' sisters. I get grouchy when I'm not productive and feel guilty when I procrastinate. When it comes time to relax, I have a hard time just stopping. "Everything Is Spiritual" reminded me of this--God created and did for 6 days, and on the seventh, He rested. We're human beings, not human doings--I tend to forget that. I feel guilty not "using" my free time, but procrastinating on useless activities, so I get nothing done and feel horrid about it. I need to do something that "feeds the soul" as Rob says--and have a carved out time where I can enjoy without remorse or guilt. A morning to sleep in, random researching , blog to my heart's content, cook, be creative. No to-do lists, no job hunting, no stuff like pricing out moving vans or pre-packing for our trek back out west. Just chill-time.
Now, I've just "made" two more things for myself and I'm already feeling stretched on time, how am I going to fit it all in you ask?
1. Facebook is a big problem. I tend to obsessively check it but have little lasting interest in what's going on. Then, after a wasted hour or three, I'm frustrated that my evening has slipped away, I've successfully procrastinated, and my to-do list remains un-done. (Blogging is a bit different. It's my virtual scrapbook and my way of keeping all my researching in an easy to access place.)
2. Unless, it's my "sabbath day," I don't do things unless they're necessary and I say "no" to extra requests. During the week, this is calling Dan, dinner with the family, logging, and studying. Blogs can be posted in advance during my sabbath day, Facebook doesn't need to whittle away at my hours, researching is better saved for another day. Since one day of the week is my "sabbath day" the other needs to be my "procrastination-free day."